Thinking ...

Maybe you have wondered why there hasn't been any new post on here during the last time but I somehow never really had time or the will to sit down and write something. I am really thoughtful at the moment, maybe even depressed a bit and those thoughts .. well, they take a lot of my power :/ I think a lot about life, me and my situation, the ED and why everything happened the way it did .. And in some really hurtful way I miss my mom ... I mean I see her from time to time when I go to my parents' house (I still live at the house of another family that mine is friends with) but sometimes I really long for a long, big hug and she tells me that everything's alright and she loves me .. It makes me sad and angry at the same time that I think this way and am never fully content with how I'm doing or how my life goes. :((
With the eating I'm still having problems and by that I mean I have to be very careful not to lose some more weight! And the cold outside lets me feel even worse and sometimes my thoughts are darker than they honestly should! :(

In about an hour I'll leave for work in the afternoon and I hope it brings some more positive thoughts up so I won't have the same pessimistic thoughts on my mind all the time. I hope it works! :)

See you soon!
xxx