Happy Halloween! ;)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D

Yeah, today's Halloween .. I'm not doing something typical for Halloween today, I'm just going to drive (yes, I drive!(: ) to a friend's house and there we'll watch some film with some other girls. Today, my mood at first hasn't been that great due to headache and I didn't feel well because of the cold and somehow mentally I didn't feel alright .. but I had a talk with my therapist this afternoon and I'm really glad I could talk to her! It somehow makes me feel better and - even though I seem to don't like myself - she said that she likes me because I'm that open. Mhm .. so afterwards my mood was a lot better and I'm looking forward to the movie-night. I asked my dad if I could drive and he said yes, for which I am grateful because he can't drink beer as long as he has to get to the friend's house later to pick me up and I know that he has just bought some because tomorrow's a national holiday or something so he doesn't have to work. So - Thank you, dad! :)

Wish you all a nice evening, no matter what you're up to ;)

xxx

Today :)

Yeeeees, I have survived the Maths exam today :D It was quite good actually, I hope for a good grade .. it won't be the best - I know - but I'm pretty optimistic:) I just didn't get to finish the whole last exercise but I hope that won't be that bad :/


And as I had promised, here are some food photos ;)

 That's what I had on Saturday evening, watching some series on my laptop :) What you see is oatmeal with an apple, topped with cinnamon and one slice of some whole wheat crispbread(with seeds in it - very crunchy but really delicious!), raisins, almonds and the yellow/orange pieces are dried mango :) nomnom, I have that almost every evening!  [I've just noticed that on the first photo there's another smaller bowl .. that's some muesli with plain yoghurt and another apple (; ]
What do you like to eat? Do you also like to stick to what you eat every day or vary it?:) 

Wishing you all a nice evening!
xxx

Maths exam

Hey everyone!
Actually, I've already been about to write a post on Saturday evening but I was busy doing so many things at once that finally I didn't get to finish it. But I promise I'll post some yummy pictures in the near future as I had planned to do on Saturday ;)

Right now, I'm learning for my Maths exam tomorrow .. but honestly, there are so much more interesting things to do that I can hardly convince myself to really do something and sit down to study :S But I had Maths coaching on Saturday and I got the feeling that I'm doing okay at it so I hope tomorrow won't be such a failure :P

Anyway, wish me luck and hopefully I'll be posting again tomorrow! :)

xxx

Spontaneous drive :)

Now it's almost midnight here in Germany and only about 2 hours ago I got the spontaneous option to drive a car again:) I've already been that lucky this morning as my mother doesn't have to work this week and wanted to go to the gym in the morning so I asked if maybe I could drive now that I have my licence ... and I could! :) I was a bit ... not really worrying but maybe thinking a bit more about it because the last time I drove has been last week's friday .. but everything went well! Just for you to understand: the school I go to (and my brother, too) isn't in our town(which is actually a bit smaller..) but in a bigger town about 20km away so in the morning we always have to go by car or bus to get there!
Well .. this evening about .. 9.20pm my dad called me and asked if I wanted to drive because my brother wanted to go somewhere near the town we go to school at and I spontaneously said 'Yes' and it was good - I can still drive, even after a break of one week ;D

I'm going riding tomorrow morning so I guess it's time to try and find some sleep .. I got less than I probably should have during the last few days :/

Good night everyone!

Nice walk :)

In the early evening I went to my parent's house and took my dog Meggy for a nice long walk out. It was really nice, the leaves of the trees were beginning to fall down and they had a great yellow-orange colour .. it gave me a great feeling of autumn! :)

When I got to the house afterwards I met my dad and he told me that he had actually told my older brother take Meggy out in the evening - now I understand why he smiled quite happily when I said I wanted to 'borrow' Meggy for a while :D

I still got some exercises to do for English but I hope I'll get them done soon .. I think of watching 'The Mentalist' on my Laptop and go on studying at the same time, I hope it won't distract me too much ;)

But I'm a bit worried about tomorrow .. in the afternoon after school I gotta go to the doctor to be weighed as my therapist wants me to go there ... I have some sort of a contract that I'm not allowed to go below a certain weight but actually this contract hasn't been filled in comletely yet and there isn't any weight set yet as a limit but I'm of course aware of the fact that losing weight is not the way to go.. :/

Have a nice evening!

End of the holidays ..

Hello you all, if anyone is even reading what I write ...

Today's the last the of my autumn holidays and luckily the weather is really nice: the sun is shining and for October it's quite warm I think! :) But tomorrow I have to go to school again and I still got one book for my German class to read as well as a pack of papers that have to be done for my English class. But I think I'll go home soon and take my dog Meggy out for a walk into the sun, as long as it's still out it's worth enjoying it, right? ;)
I hope that I'll soon get a routine again with going to school, working and stuff and that everything goes on well...
I might write more later, maybe telling something more about me and my 'story'.

Have a nice sunday!

Moving out

Hello everyone :)
I know it's been some days since I've posted the last time but I've been quite busy the last days as there have some events taken place .. to name only one -> I have moved out! Yes, I don't live at my parent's house anymore now but with a family whose members are somewhat like friends:) They have 3 children, the oldest son has already moved out, the other son is my brother's friend and their daughter is in the US for half a year at the moment and I now have her room. The parents are really nice and the mother is a friend of my mom and I'd even say mine, too! It's an important step I think because at home with my parents (especially with my mother) the tensions and discussions were really bad... Here I feel quite good and I really like talking to M (the mother) because from the type of person I am (from character and thinking) she's quite similar to me and she somehow understands how complex I think! And she's really kind, and I have to admit that I really like how she cooks (if this is triggering or something just skip it!) although she almost always uses lots of oil (at least the good ones ;P ) as she is Catalan. But she asked me what I like to eat and she takes almost only whole-grain products and stuff to cook which I really appreciate! :)

I haven't mentioned yet but I have a little job at a bakery in my town where I help and sell bread and stuff so the last two days I worked there in the afternoon till evening. I also had some more driving lessons ... and by that we're coming to the next big point *drum roll*  ....
I got my driver's licence yesterday!! :)) 
the driving test was yesterday morning and I did well so now (as I'm still 17) I'm allowed to drive with either my mother or father until I turn 18 and can drive alone. :))) yeeey, I am really proud and today I went for a drive with my father at 9am. :) 



I guess I'll be posting something more later but for now I have to get a lot of stuff done for school because next week the two weeks of autumn holidays are over and I haven't really done anything the last few weeks :/

 see you later! ;)

Some food photos

I just felt the need to clarify that of course this is not a pro-blog!!! Just thought that this might not be clear so just to state that ! ;)

I'm also not so much into the ED anymore that I don't want to eat or whatever might come to your mind when you get on my blog .. so here are some photos of what I like to eat ! :)

Yesterday evening's supper: porridge/oatmeal made of oats, buttermilk & plain yoghurt (I had cut a small apple into it as well and put some cinnamon onto it which tastes really great!), 1 slice of crispbread, some almonds, raisins and 2 quite large slices of whole-grain bread with cream cheese, cheese and two small tomatoes (from our own garden! yes - even in October :D )

I ate that in my room while watching some series on my laptop :) I can really recommend you to try and put some cinnamon on your oatmeal/porridge - it's really delicious! *-* :D And I always like putting some almonds into the bowl and eat some others just out of my hand ;)

Have a nice evening! :)
xx

Introducing myself ;)

Helloooo :)

I don't really know how to begin this post but I'll just try.. As I have discovered some really lovely blogs during the last weeks made by other persons who have recovered or are still recovering from an Eating Disorder I felt inspired to start my own. [just wanted to mention Izzy (www.living-with-anorexia.blogspot.com) whose inspiring blog I discovered first and am reading every day :)]
soo .. maybe something about me to start off :P
I have an Eating Disorder since about the beginning of 2010, maybe it has even began a bit earlier or later, I don't know exactly .. During the last almost 3 years I have begun several therapies and was sent to hospital by my parents (as I'm not grown-up yet ;) ) twice, but I have to admit that things aren't over yet and I am again struggling with being underweight .. and of course bad thoughts about myself (not much concerning my weight and stuff, but much about the arguments and tensions between me and my parents because of the ED ..).
Well .. I just hoped that having a blog where I can write out my thoughts and stuff might be quite helpful and of course I hope to get some feedback of others who might struggle with similar things :)

Wish you all a nice Sunday ! :) (or what's still left of it :D )

uh, and I wanted to mention that although I post in English I am from Germany and therefore I already excuse myself for possibly making some mistakes .. but I just feel good writing in English .. I'm a language-geek and English is my favourite language :D :)