I'm feeling sooooooo exhausted :( and in addition to that - or maybe as a consequence - the bad, negative thoughts come up .. not only now, already earlier today. That's for example like this: someone looks at me and I directly think this person for sure thinks something bad about me like I'm too skinny (yeah, I feel ashamed about that .. about me having an ED and not having 'solved the problem' yet) or I'm just strange somehow. :/ I feel like complete shit when this mood turns up and this is a situation where I doubt that life is good. Yes, I haven't written something really negative yet on this blog but as this is supposed to be for writing out my feelings it just had to come out!
I feel so bad somehow -.- I'm really looking forward to my therapy session tomorrow, I can feel how badly I'm in the need for that right now!!
And my hands hurt!! They are so dry that I got some little wounds because at some points the skin has ripped and due to my underweight (yeah, I know it's because of that and I'm judging myself badly for knowing but not changing it -.-) it won't heal fast or at all, I don't know, because the wound healing doesn't work properly :(
ugggh. You see I'm in a bad mood :/
I'll take a hot shower now and hope my thoughts and worries get better then:)
xxx
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